Your Reality Is Not Mine

Your reality is not mine

I am ready to share this reflection with you, taking the risk that you do not agree but that you are part of this game without exit …

Later you will understand.

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are …

You, with your qualities and your faults, your experiences, your dreams and your illusions, wherever you are in the world, you look at life and what is happening, in accordance with your peculiarities and preferences.

I, with my qualities and my faults, my experiences, my dreams and my illusions, wherever I am in the world, I look at life and what happens in accordance with my peculiarities and preferences.

And in our dialogue, we try to interchange our worlds, sometimes thinking that it is the same. This is why sometimes it is so difficult to find an agreement.

In fact, two people may have witnessed the same scene or participated in the same situation, they each have a way of having lived it, in accordance with their experience, their preferences, and their beliefs, that is to say to say, in accordance with the way of being of each one.

This is why each opinion is as valid as another, hence the relativism of experience, the subjectivity of our worlds and the construction of our realities. 

You, with your experience, me with all my baggage, even if we are at the same point and we observe the same thing, we are in two different realities. 

Let’s see an example:

You have been invited to a party with your spouse and you have decided to go. But just before going out, a friend calls you to confirm that you are not going to be hired in his company.

You argue with your partner and ultimately decide not to go to this party.
Your body asks you to stay home, but you grab your courage and tell yourself that staying home will make you feel even more depressed. So you decide not to change the plans.  

And here we are. You radiant with happiness, me with immense sadness, trying to hide it. 

Even so we eat, we talk, we dance .. and at one point a song reminds me of him, I can’t avoid it and the party atmosphere becomes for me something confused, nostalgic and melancholy.

As you continue to dance, enthusiastic as if there is no tomorrow… I decide to go home. You stay a while longer. 

When I think back to the party the night before, I remember that song that made me sad, the dishes that she liked so much and the constant concealment I showed so that no one would realize that I was sad.

Meanwhile, you remember the dancing enthusiastically and how you were more expansive and fun than usual. 

Looks like you went to two different parties, didn’t you? Yet it was the same but one person lived it big and the other at a minimum, focusing their attention on different things. 

Often times when we talk about feelings or abstract concepts like love, friendship, trust or freedom, we believe we are talking about the same thing, but there are differences.

Ask your companion what these concepts are for him, you will be surprised how he sees them. We are sure it will have its own nuances.

This is why it is important, when we are discussing, to ask the other what is the meaning for him. Thus, you will know its perspective, its world and its reality.

Take into account what the other has been through before, as it has nothing to do with your own experience.

Remember, we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

Dare to discover other worlds and other realities! 

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