Accept it. There are people who want you to be fine, but no better than them. These types of people may have esteem and tenderness for you, but tend to pull away when you are “too” successful. Of course, as long as they fail to achieve their own goals.
This recurring phenomenon can be found in many areas of life: between work colleagues, between members of the same family, in a group of friends and even in a couple. Now think about it. How is it possible that this could happen between people who supposedly love each other?
We will explain it to you. The world is full of people who walk away when things aren’t going well. Unfortunately, there are many people who can’t stand the success of those they know. They prefer to ignore them or ignore the moment when they celebrate their victory, instead of sharing it with them.
The social pressure trap
It is clear that we cannot be immune to all types of social pressure. We are beings who live in society and as such it is normal that we feel “pressure” through the opinions and expectations of those around us.
Let’s look at a typical situation: You entrust someone “you trust” with one of your goals or ideas, something that looks interesting, attractive and that you have the capacity to lead or achieve. It is common for that other person not to show undue interest in it, encourage you to do so, or outright push you to take it out of your head.
When you are filled with fear of rejection or the idea of fulfilling other people’s expectations, you are eager to listen to what others are telling you. Right after, you allow the creation of a vicious circle:
- I try to get others to approve of my expectations. 2. If they don’t approve of them, I stop doing what I really want (because I create the idea that “my desire is absurd”). 3. My self-esteem decreases and with it my self-esteem. 4. I come back to point 1 because, with low self-esteem, I sacrifice my opinions on the altar of other people’s standards.
Learn to interpret this type of situation, so as to strengthen your ability to resist the trap. Be sure that the envy of a friend or any loved one around you is no more harmful than the hatred of an enemy.
A friend who advises you to slip away is a friend who wants to control you, and a friend who wants to control you is a prisoner of jealousy. Why this jealousy? It can be explained by different reasons: your relationship with other people, your ideas, your aspirations etc.
The word “toxic” should be an adjective incompatible with the word “friend”. The antidote for co-worker and friend toxicity is learning to support and celebrate the successes of those around you, starting with your friends and family.
Learn to shine without feeling bad
Let us tell you that there are people who turn into lights as soon as they enter a room. And they are, among other things, because they are humble people who have learned to admire others without feeling threatened.
Stop seeing life as a way to make bad decisions to please the rest of the world. Learn not to listen to the world and to listen to what’s inside you more. Do not allow anyone to destroy your originality and your aspirations (even if you are made to believe they are absurd).
Do not agree to carry out projects that are mediocre or that you do not want to carry out only because someone “you trust” has made you doubt your abilities and your strengths. Don’t pay a high price for being an artificial person to get the place you already deserve as you are.