The Problem Is Not What Happens To You, But The Way You Think About It

The problem is not what happens to you, but the way you think about it

Our negative thoughts can be very harmful. When we experience a traumatic event, it is not so much the facts that affect us, but the stress and anxiety generated by the guilt.

Controlling your thoughts is the best thing to do if you want to move forward without carrying the weight of guilt on your shoulders.

A 2013 study with over 30,000 participants found that dwelling on negative life events is the main trigger for some of the most common mental health problems  caused by guilt. arising from these events.

The results of this study showed that it is not so much what happened that matters, but rather the way you think about it, the latter conditioning our psychological well-being.

In this sense, managing our thoughts will allow us to limit this feeling of self- inflicted guilt .

“We know that a person’s genetics and life circumstances have an obvious influence on mental health problems, but the results of this study have shown that the traumatic events that we are called to undergo during our lifetime are the main cause of anxiety and depression.
However, the way we consider and manage these stressful events is an indicator of the level of stress and anxiety felt,
said Peter Kinderman, one of the main players in this study.

While self-reflection is probably one of the key elements in leading a conscious and happy life, these new findings show that brooding over the negative aspects of our life and our past does not bring us anything positive.

Therefore, if self-understanding is a way to overcome personal struggles, it is also necessary to do an exercise in self-compassion so as not to become our own enemies.

In this sense, overcoming our inner criticism will allow us to ward off guilt and self-contempt for what happened to us, what we did or let it happen.

In addition, it will also give us the opportunity to think positively about what the future has in store for us and to build on what we have been able to do well, as well as on the values ​​and other attitudes that make us stronger.

If one is to overcome these negative self- defeating thoughts, it is important to start learning to differentiate and identify them, but also to observe when they arise.

In this way, we will therefore be able to filter them, flee them, or even confront them by responding categorically and by applying the principle of zero tolerance.

On the other hand, when we allow our negative thoughts to grow and invade us, and when we remember all those things that are harmful to us, it is best to stop ruminating on everything that may have happened and think about something else.

If we rely on the conclusions drawn from various studies conducted on the subject, it can be said that cognitive-behavioral interventions can be effective in alleviating anxiety.

In this sense, several studies have shown that treatments that encourage participants to change their way of thinking or the emotional response that causes them to think things over and worry about them, have positive results.

Still other studies have indicated that self-compassion is accompanied by a greater capacity for emotional recovery as well as a more supportive relationship to oneself, since

Therefore, to begin to cast out our negative thoughts is to realize that we should not listen to said thoughts, but cultivate self-compassion and act against the directives given by our inner critic.

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