Self-esteem or good self-esteem refers to awareness of one’s own resources and potentials, as well as recognition of one’s weaknesses. However, most people don’t know how to value themselves and do their best to gain self-esteem through the wrong relationship paths. They show self-deprecation.
Usually, attempts to resolve low self-esteem fail, and as a result, these people maintain their low self-esteem over the years. Go further.
Self-esteem, persistence and resistance to change
Many people seek recognition in their environment by helping or making others happy. These people live and grow by giving preeminence to the desires of others and by systematically procrastinating.
These are some of the strategies they use to not feel useless and incompetent. However, neither of these strategies is effective. This is why the feeling of cockroach persists which is linked to resistance to change.
The more something is systematized over time, the more it resists modification, which reduces creativity. Therefore, those who remain rooted in self-deprecation are driven by a narrow repertoire of solutions that leads them to make the same choices, instead of looking for other options.
Although it sounds strange and unbelievable, some people still apply the same measures to solve their problems, even when the outcome was not favorable. They then have the gift of repeating a method which led to a bad result. She does not question it or attempt to change it.
Repeating the same methods over and over often leads to the same results, and many of them turn out to be failures. These ratify personal worthlessness and reaffirm low self-esteem and all those feelings that come with it.
The search for value in the environment, an insane strategy
Those who take refuge in personal depreciation, in the unsuccessful attempt to obtain recognition, and obtain a result contrary to what they want, end up consolidating their own depreciation in reality. When in reality the question is to arrive at the appreciation of the environment.
This is the case with donors who are always ready to help their entire emotional circle and who, due to such unconditionality, end up being used and abused. This is also the case with those who always prioritize the desire of others and who end up feeling frustrated because they have missed out on their lives.
Both types of caregivers strive to find security in their relationships by loving each other unconditionally. These devalued fully supply others in search of their worth.
They place them first and position themselves at a lower place. They do not allow the other to feel the sensation of need, because before the other needs something, they are already there to meet the demand.
This degree of emotional slavery does not allow the other to feel the need to be with the protagonist. A person who devalues himself and fills all the cracks does not make the other feel the lack. Like her she becomes invisible.
In other words, unconditional love leads to invisibility, while what is sought after is the opposite effect. Whoever has low self-esteem then confirms his personal devaluation in reality.
Another resource that fails is to show yourself as a good student. These young people who, thanks to good grades and act with a supreme degree of perfection, hide the imperative need to be approved, appreciated and loved.
So they don’t generate any expectations because their parents, friends, uncles and family know they are going to get the best results. And this is how they lose importance, since a good grade is always expected from them and any outstanding performance will not cause any kind of surprise. Again, the opposite effect of what is desired.
There are also those who place themselves in a position of pity or weakness. And this in the hope that others will give them back an image of strength through which they express their appreciation for their resources and abilities.
Usually, they end up generating repulsion in people. Because their complaints and their bad attitude lead others to avoid any meeting with the complainants.
On some occasions, awareness of personal skills occurs at a rational level. The protagonist recognizes that he has a diverse range of resources. In reality, it is rational recognition that fails when it comes to facing a challenge. He doesn’t trust himself, and it shows physically, because he even bends his back.
Behind self-deprecation: insecurity, fear and guilt
Another consequence of self-deprecation is insecurity. When an individual does not value himself, he has no security in any situation. In this sense, self-deprecation and insecurity go hand in hand. One does not go without the other. A person who is unsure of himself thinks that he has neither the possibilities nor the resources to support his performance.
A third concept is added to the first two: fear. Fear is one of the consequences of low self-esteem. The person is filled with negative thoughts that immobilize him in the face of problematic situations … His feelings and thoughts are related to impotence.
Finally, guilt is another element that comes on top. A person often feels guilty when they feel useless. “I should have done it…” “I’m so stupid that I don’t…” “If I had finished sooner, I would be working on another job…”
A person who does not appreciate or believe in their abilities feels unable to act. Then the doubt arises. She is full of questions that increase her anxiety. She then tries to devise a plan or develop various strategies to achieve the goal. She thus tries to anticipate the situation in order to feel more secure.
In the imagination of the person who suffers from self-deprecation, any situation can become a test in which its worth is assessed. The fear of failure and the lack of recognition assail him and frighten him. She is afraid to find out who she is. Fear that his imperfections and handicaps will be exposed, which makes him lose the shine of his abilities.
Good self-esteem: is it possible?
Low self-esteem is a feeling that squanders and thwarts plans, blocks opportunities to be creative, generates insecurity, increases angst and anxiety, and complicates human relationships. It is a scourge that gradually eats away at the person, deteriorating his personality.
True self-esteem is felt. It is a feeling that arises spontaneously in the face of the experience. It is an inner feeling that is addictively not dependent on external recognition, but on oneself.
A person who values themselves tends to withhold the positive. She understands that certain situations or activities are not suitable for her. Self-esteem is an omnipotent mechanism that allows us to adapt to anything. Let us take care of ourselves and avoid falling into personal depreciation. We don’t need it.