Problems, problems, problems… Anyone who does not live with a problem in their daily life? It is normal to face problematic situations in life, even if that does not mean that we know how to solve them… because not everyone is master in this practice.
It is not uncommon for us to end up getting caught up in the vicious circles that we close around our problems. In fact, our problems are influenced by patterns of behavior which become guarantors of their survival and therefore of our frustration. This is how they are transformed, from a systemic point of view, into systems of behavior and meanings which feed on each other.
This means that, like a butterfly, when a problem flutters its wings, it has a big impact on many of our behaviors, relationships, and thoughts. In other words, it is the problems that end up taking the reins of our behavior, causing, without us realizing, a vicious circle in which we stagnate.
When a problem flutters its wings, then an earthquake arises which affects our inner balance.
How to break the butterfly effect of our problems?
To break this vicious circle, which means that it is our behavior that controls our problems and not ourselves, we must try to block the sequence of behaviors in which the problem takes place. We try to generate other behavioral alternatives that bring us closer to a good solution and in all cases, which distance us from those which ensure our survival.
This means that, if faced with a problem, we tend to apply a concrete solution and it does not give us results, changing our strategy can help us find the right solution. This is why what is so simple seems so complicated. Remember that we are animals of habit, and that changing the way we act, to break the “butterfly effect” that we trigger, is extremely complicated.
Human is the only animal that is capable of tripping over the same stone twice, even if it is the stone that is the cause of all its problems.
To be able to change this association of behaviors, systemic psychology proposes two ways:
- Redefining an element of the sequence or changing the entire sequence, in order to be able to realize what is happening around us and thus discover the vicious circle of behaviors that feed the problem. An example: do not take an interpretation, a reproach or a dispute as obvious, but directly ask the interlocutor if he intended to act in this way.
- Do a task that modifies one of the sequences of behaviors involved: with these tasks, we try to make it so that it is us who annoys the problem rather than that it does not bother us. An example: we can add an element to the problem sequence. For example, if you have a problem with alcohol, put on gloves when you go to drink to break the vicious cycle of this behavior.
Feel free to face problems!
Perhaps these solutions seem too simple to generate meaningful results, but altering the mechanized sequence of our problems is very effective. When we become aware of what we are doing, instead of getting caught up in situations, we are able to see more clearly what is happening around us.
We control our behavior if we are aware of what we are doing and why we are doing it at all times, otherwise it will be our problems, waving their wings, that will bring about the changes in our life.
So, to feel free to face our problems or to try to find effective solutions, changing what we do in everyday life, even if it is a small detail, will help us. Because it is not about going through life without having lived it, only to let ourselves be carried away by the circumstances, but to take control and make small changes. These changes will cause that when the butterfly of our problems flutters its wings, challenges and opportunities arise, earthquakes and storms.