Tell Me What You’re Bragging About And I’ll Tell You What You’re Suffering From (Proud Relationship Profiles)

Proud people brag about what they don’t have and try to stand out whenever they get the chance. In the end, they find themselves rejected by dint of looking at each other too much. The psychologist Marcelo Ceberio tells us about it.
Tell me what you're bragging about and I'll tell you what you're suffering from (Proud relationship profiles)

There are proud people who, in the face of their low self-esteem, tend to boast of having false personal virtues.  To display values. And trying to grab attention whenever they get the chance. What happens is that they tend to point out what they are missing deep down.

As a result,  these people end up being rejected because they become self-worshipers who leave no room for others. They are thus people who develop proud relational profiles. Let’s dig deeper into the subject.

A fauna of ostentatious people

The devaluation or lack of self-esteem is one of the great evils of the human being. Good self-esteem involves valuing yourself, loving yourself, putting yourself first, and moving away from selfishness or egotism. It is also understanding your own limitations and abilities. It is about knowing what you can and cannot do, what are your strengths, resources and weaknesses. In short, to recognize oneself in an integral and sincere way.

But evaluation is a process that gets metabolized inside our minds and our emotions. It is a process of self-reflection that explores both the virtues themselves and the flaws. It is only us who should value ourselves: rethinking our personal values, feeling precious for ourselves and for others. Because if we do, we will give the best of ourselves to others.

A woman's eyes in a mirror

Simple genuine appreciation is found in the fauna of ostentatious people. This group is made up of people who are proud, arrogant, humble and showing false modesty, people who overestimate themselves, egomaniacs, boastful, ostentatious, pretentious … who are some specimens of the genre who try by different paths recognition and defense against their strong feelings of inner handicap.

These are forms of interaction that generate reactions in different contexts. Mechanisms contained in personal disability, in which the following equation could be applied: tell me what you are bragging about and I will tell you what you are suffering from.

Bragging people consciously believe that they can do anything, and this does not mean having good self-esteem, it is egocentricity; in other words, idolatry. Of course, this is closer to pedantry and arrogance, although it could be typical of delusional behavior.

  • They are arrogant omnipotent people who try to monopolize the dialogues, giving themselves a little sparkle, and they are absolutely Yoists, in the dialogues we hear people say: “because me…, me once…, you know that I … ”, Despite the fact that the speaker is talking about a specific subject.

Proud relationship profiles

Proud and pretentious

In pride, the human being – in addition to feeling omnipotent – overestimates himself and ostentatiously vox populi what he considers his personal values. He positions himself by boasting of a demeaning and disparaging attitude of the other.

Proud people believe they know everything and have an asymmetrical position, placing themselves above others with the chin subtly raised, forcing their gaze downward. They speak as if they were evoking their academic memory.

Boastful and ostentatious

There are also the boastful who possess that touch of pedantry. For example, the boastful is the one who monopolizes the attention in social gatherings, leading various themes. He has the ability to read curiosity articles in the press sparingly and superficially or to record a few Discovery channel notes from memory.

In addition, he speaks and speaks seductively without giving way to others and sometimes he makes a fool of himself because he tries to provide technical building knowledge to an engineer, explains unconscious mechanisms to the psychologist, dictates the class of Quantum physics to the physicist or the cloning mechanisms to the biologist, professor of international politics, marine biology and even news analysis, but these are indicators not of wisdom but of ways to stand out at social gatherings.

It is one of the proud relational profiles that one could mitigate with quotas of humility. The person might even come to be truly admired.

The proud and those who overestimate themselves

It can hardly be said that they are proud people. Precisely the word pride is one of the terms misapplied in common usage. It is generally considered a synonym of pride: it is a proud! You are proud, who do you think you are? And nothing could be more wrong.

Being proud of who you are is the best thing that can happen to a person. This is synonymous with an optimal and productive evaluation. It doesn’t mean that someone is superior to someone else. It is not a measure that denigrates the other, it is a personal estimate of what I am worth.

Being proud doesn’t mean overestimating yourself either. Overestimating yourself suggests giving yourself more value than you have. The one who overestimates himself believes that he is someone that he is not. It is therefore a defensive position that hides a feeling of inner devaluation.

For example, someone cannot find a job because he wants to get a job as a boss or manager, without having had any work experience, even in theory! He is convinced that he is qualified for this position. He thinks that another lesser job denigrates him, does not suit him and is not up to him. In reality, if he takes a lower position than he aspires to, he connects with this incompetence that he does not want and does not want to be aware of. He therefore prefers not to work rather than to accept his devaluation. This type of person ends up finding excuses in the social and economic policy of the country to express that there is no work.

A woman sad because of proud relationship profiles

Humble people with false modesty

Humble people, on the other hand, are those who do not brag about their knowledge or ability. Many of them recognize that they have them. But that’s no reason to spend their time reminding people of their virtues.

These are people who surprise us with their abilities since it would never have occurred to us that they were part of their repertoire. They are a bit like a Pandora’s Box from which many resources emerge that do not match the understated style they present. But humble people are very different from those who act with false modesty.

People with false modesty are those who intentionally show a profile of humility and manage to make the interlocutor one who praises and highlights the conditions they are trying to hide so that they become obvious. In other words, it is not the protagonist who shows himself, it is the communicational partner who reveals what he does not want to show.

This category of topics has a special way of boasting. They are not boastful or pretentious, they are egocentrically modest : they show a side of incapacity that leaves room for the other to realize that he is capable, and they yearn for their interlocutor to reveal their potential.

All the members of these groups are almost perfect. But they secretly wait to find value in their relationships. And they will never accept that they have flaws or make mistakes. They are also not eager to give or help others receive recognition. As in any defensive mechanism of omnipotence, the personal feelings of helplessness and inner worthlessness that do not appear clearly overlap in proud people.

Almost always, when they communicate with others, they do so through the intellectual or the rational. They can monopolize a meeting by dictating a class for the purpose of monologue. But also to get praise and proof of appreciation from those around them.

These forms of ostentation have the ability to be learned very quickly. As we pointed out previously, listen to the comments of those who really know, or take some data from some cultural television shows that exist and develop them skillfully through the oratory.

These perfects are, as such, deniers. Omnipotence is generally a defensive resource that combines with denial. It is necessary to deny the aspects that show helplessness and insecurity. And, as if by magic, to create an omnipotent and self-confident character. Of course, this structure is not conscious. It is not a premeditated act. It is gradually cemented, hiding more and more those dark feelings that strip the person of their weaknesses.

But sooner or later these mechanisms lead to the gradual rejection of the person. At first, the omnipotent can be empathetic, articulate and stand out among his interlocutors. For example in the development of certain specific themes. As this attitude is repeated in all subjects and in all opportunities, people begin to generate antipathy in the protagonist and attitudes of rejection appear. It’s a directly proportional equation: the more effort you make to stand out, the more it ends up in marginalization and devaluation.


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