Children operate at their own pace and have their own way of feeling, seeing and thinking. In any case, parents should not want their children to adopt at all costs their own way of feeling, seeing and thinking in order to make them carbon copies of themselves. Children are made of dreams, hopes and illusions; they want to build a free and privileged spirit.
A few months ago, we were able to learn via the media information that invites reflection: in the United Kingdom, many children are prepared from their 5 years by their families to take a test, a year later, at 6 years, allowing them to integrate the best elite schools in the country. Childhood then gives way to a supposed “promising future”, while 5 years old is the age at which we play in the parks.
What benefit is there for a child to know the names of all of Saturn’s moons but not know how to deal with sadness or anger? Rather, let us educate children who are wise in their emotions, children filled with dreams, not fears.
Nowadays, many parents want to “speed up” their children’s skills, stimulate them cognitively, make them listen to Mozart while they are still in their mother’s womb. Gold,
We all know for a fact that in the changing and competitive society in which we live, we need above all people able to adapt to all requirements. It is then unlikely that British children who make it to the best elite schools will know how to do it; however, it is a question that must be asked …
Will the emotional cost suffered then be worth it? And the hasty exit from childhood? And respect for all the rules imposed by parents from the age of 5?
To date, no study has ever proven that it is good for 4-year-olds to “speed up” some of their skills, such as reading, nor that such an educational approach angle can have any impact. long-term positive impact on school results. What often happens, however, is that children become familiar from an early age with dimensions such as frustration, stress, and above all, the obligation to adapt to their parents’ expectations. .
Children are made of dreams, which is why we must take care of them. If we persist in setting them an incalculable number of objectives to achieve and skills to assume, the more the days will pass, the more we will break their wings, those wings thanks to which, perhaps, tomorrow they could achieve their own dreams. If we impose adult obligations on them when they are only children, we will cut off at the same time the wings of their kites that we will fold down to the ground, and we will tear them from their childhood.
In parallel with this acceleration of learning and acquisition of skills, other approaches are developing which are now beginning to gain a little more importance, such as “respectful education” or “Slow Parenting”. Indeed, before opting for acceleration, it would be more coherent to try to apply these educational models, advocating for example the fact of not obliging the children of 3 or 5 years to read or to learn things for which they show no interest.
Our most important obligation with children is to give them a “ray of light” and then follow our path.
, this is why it is better for parents and educators to facilitate learning rather than behaving like pressure agents. Let us now see in detail these interesting educational approaches, respectful of the natural cycles of the child and of his needs.
“Slow Parenting”, or slow education, is the faithful reflection of this social and philosophical current which invites us to go further, to be more aware of what surrounds us. This is why with regard to education, we are promoting a more simplified and slower model, aimed at respecting the rhythms of the child at each stage of his development.
The basic axes that define Slow Parenting would be as follows:
- The basic need of a child is to play and to discover the world.
- We are not our children’s “friends”, we are their parents. Our duty is to love them, to guide them, to be their example and to facilitate their maturity without putting pressure on them.
- Never forget that “the best is the enemy of the good”, and that creativity is the weapon of children; a pencil, a sheet of paper and a field have more power than a telephone or a computer.
- Share time with your children in quiet spaces.
We’re sure you’ve heard of respectful education before. Even if what we know best about this approach is the use of positive reinforcement beyond classic punishment or reprimands, this educational style offers many other dimensions that may be interesting to consider. :
- You have to educate without shouting.
- The use of rewards is not always consistent: we run the risk that our children will get used to always receiving rewards without understanding the intrinsic benefit of effort, of personal success.
- Saying “no” and setting limits will not generate any trauma in them ; it is a necessary educational practice.
- Respectful education calls for communication, listening and patience: a child who feels cherished and valued will feel free to pursue their dreams and give shape to their maturity.
Let us respect childhood, let us respect this stage which gives roots to their hopes and wings to their expectations.