Self-esteem is not about self-centeredness, arrogance, superiority or pride.
Having self-esteem is loving yourself by seeing in the physical and psychological mirror the reflection of a healthy and exposed image, an image protected by strong cements.
Some people show their self-image with preponderance, stand out for their strength, strive not to show any vulnerability, do anything to look perfect, and claim to never make mistakes or make mistakes. .
These people lack self-criticism and show a certain fear of themselves; they hide their true image behind a mask wanting to be perfect, even though it is impossible.
The difference between self-centeredness and self-esteem
The ego is the basis of our personal identity and therefore also that of our self-esteem and our egocentricity.
One could easily differentiate these two concepts as follows: self-esteem is healthy and tolerant love, while egocentricity is empty, thoughtless, excessive and intolerant love.
Here is a story that illustrates this very well:
I was walking with my dad when he stopped on a bend. After a short silence, he asked me:
– Do you hear anything other than birdsong?
I opened my ears wide, and a few seconds later, I answered him:
– I hear the noise of a road.
– Exactly, said my father. It’s an empty road.
– How do you know it’s an empty road if you can’t see it? I asked my father.
– It’s very easy to know; the more empty the road, the noisier it is, he replied.
Time passed, I grew into an adult, and even today, when I meet someone who talks too much, interrupts everyone’s conversation, is untimely or violent, who brags about what they have and who prepotent watch, I have the impression of hearing my father saying:
“The more empty the road, the noisier it is.”
Humility is silencing our virtues and allowing others to discover them. Remember that there are people who are so poor that the only thing they have is money. No one is more empty than one who is full of himself.
Usually, as this story shows us, arrogance, prepotence and self-centeredness make a lot of noise, and therefore do not convey a healthy self-image (or even healthy self-esteem).
You are neither better nor worse than the others
The line between ego and self-esteem is very fine. We are not better or worse than the others, just different.
Understanding diversity is arguably the basis or pillar of healthy self-esteem that promotes positive attitudes towards oneself and towards others.
When we have a healthy self-image, when we achieve something, we do not pride ourselves to the point of believing ourselves to be omnipotent, because we do not fall into the clutches of egocentricity or excessive love of the made of our ego.
A person who loves himself in a healthy way does not exaggerate his personality excessively, does not make his feelings, thoughts and opinions their center of attention or that of the other.
While self-esteem promotes equality of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, egocentricity believes itself to be superior in importance and reason.
In other words, in a way, when you behave in an arrogant or egocentric way, what you try to do is give more value to what you think or what you believe, minimizing as well as what others think or feel.
In summary, one should not confuse egocentricity with strong self-confidence; whereas when egocentricity stands out, we tend to believe ourselves to be better at all levels and to behave in a pretentious way, self-confidence allows us to act in full knowledge of our capacities and our limits.
In addition, when you love yourself, it is much easier to love others.
However, sometimes it is difficult not to get carried away by the excess of ego and not to make the mistake of being arrogant by wanting to assert our opinions or feelings.
This is why the ideal is to analyze ourselves and take precautions, because the line which separates the two fields is very diffuse; it is then very easy to fall into the trap and make the mistake of wanting to superimpose our desires on those of others.