Some people are a real light on our path and others have turned into a growing darkness which makes our progress difficult. Likewise, there are people who would do anything for us, even the most unimaginable things, and others who wouldn’t even wag a finger for our well-being. Each of us relates to others differently, depending on the context. Therefore, some relationships enrich our life and others not so much. These can take place with people who lack empathy.
Have you ever noticed that some people don’t understand that you can make mistakes? Have you ever bonded with people who don’t take your thoughts and feelings into account? These are people who do not show any empathy and who do not try to put themselves in the other’s shoes.
Empathy is the ability to understand another’s view of reality by perceiving and becoming aware of their feelings. However, some people do not enjoy this quality. So we are going to see more precisely what these people are like, what disorders can be associated with them and how we can relate to them.
Things people who lack empathy don’t do
People who are not interested in others may fail to develop certain attitudes because they are unable (or are not interested in) understanding and perceiving the feelings of the other. There are cases of selfless people who lack empathy, and we’re going to look at some of the things they don’t:
- Caring for you: They don’t pay attention to you, either because they are focused on themselves or because what is happening to you does not interest them.
- Be sensitive: Even if you tell them what you think and feel, they are not trying to understand what is happening to you.
- Trust: Since they don’t perceive what we are thinking and feeling, people who lack empathy don’t feel secure in their relationships.
- Believe in the feelings of others: Selfless people doubt our emotions. They therefore show extreme coldness in front of them.
- Show Compassion: They don’t feel a urge to want to relieve the pain or suffering of others.
If you keep these characteristics in mind, you will easily be able to recognize the people around you who lack empathy. But remember that there are nuances in any type of relationship. Some people have a very low capacity for empathy and others have too much.
Lack of empathy and selfishness
People who lack empathy never put themselves in the other person’s shoes. They therefore do not concern themselves with the feelings and thoughts of others. One of the most glaring characteristics of people who are disinterested in others is their selfishness.
Thus, people who lack empathy can be very selfish because they only think about their well-being and leave the needs of others aside. They therefore take advantage of the situation to benefit from it. And, at the same time, take advantage of us.
For them, relations must be reciprocal and they take this fact to the extreme. They only give if they receive something in return. Therefore, they don’t do anything selflessly. They bond with others in a utilitarian way and turn manipulation into a lifestyle.
These people can seem very cold to us because we live with them in unpleasant situations in which we feel misunderstood. They only care about their well-being. They are unfriendly people who hardly connect with others.
Disorders associated with lack of empathy
We can all, at one time or another, lack empathy. However, some people clearly and consistently display this characteristic. Some psychological disorders are closely linked to a lack of empathy. Here they are :
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder: People are egocentric and overly concerned about themselves. They leave others behind. The lack of empathy in this personality disorder is related to the fact that they do not see beyond themselves.
- Psychopathy: People cannot adapt to social norms and find it difficult to connect with others. It is therefore obvious that they lack empathy.
- Borderline Personality Disorder: The person suffers from emotional instability and has difficulty maintaining stable relationships. She has a much harder time understanding and knowing how other people feel.
When you make an effort to explain to them why their reactions hurt you, they usually don’t understand it. They even make you feel guilty by turning their jackets over and telling you that it was you who did not do the right thing. Be careful: Lack of empathy can do a lot of harm to those who are affected by it.
How do you deal with people who lack empathy?
Some people who lack empathy don’t just have a hard time understanding us; they also manipulate us to get what they want. Here are some ideas to better deal with these people:
- Set limits: you decide which line these people cannot cross with you. Be careful !
- Choose your friends wisely: if you feel that they only see their own needs, stay away from them. They will cause you discomfort.
- Use assertiveness: communicate what you want to say as clearly as possible. This will let others know how you feel. This way, you won’t confuse a person who lacks empathy with someone who has a hard time conveying what they want to say adequately.
- Move away if you don’t feel an emotional connection: If you don’t perceive that a connection is taking place between your thoughts, your feelings and those of the other, move away. You may find yourself in front of a person who lacks empathy.
Extremes get us nowhere. We can sometimes be wrong and only see our own interests, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t empathetic people. The important thing is to know how to choose the people around us. Those in whom we will place our trust. This will help us know who we can count on during difficult times.
People who lack empathy have no interest in other people at all. They are therefore not able to put themselves in our skin to understand what we feel and think. They can’t see beyond the tip of their nose and are constantly staying in their comfort zone.
Stay away from people who make you feel guilty. They are only trying to take you to their land to make the most of your vulnerability. They are cold, manipulative people who do not really express what they are feeling and will never understand the situation you are going through.