“ All my life I have understood love as a kind of consensual slavery. It’s a lie: freedom only exists when love is there. The one who gives himself totally, who feels free, loves infinitely. And the one who loves infinitely feels free.
Despite everything I have experienced, done or discovered, nothing makes sense. In love, no one can crush the other, we are all responsible for what we feel, and we cannot blame others.
I was hurt when I lost the women I had loved. Today, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. This is the real experience of freedom: to have the most important thing in the world, without owning it. ”
Eleven Minutes – Paulo Coelho
To stop owning, to love freely without putting pressure on the other, is the key to the development of a couple, but also of everyone.
Love is a succession of struggles, sacrifices, concessions obtained against oneself for the well-being of the couple.
Love is not in the other, but in ourselves
This is where we all fish a lot. We seek in others a complement to our own deficiencies and our insecurities, without ever thinking that salvation is within ourselves.
We put the weight of our life on the shoulders of others, making them responsible for our successes and failures, but above all for our emotions.
This leaves a great void inside of us, in which there is no longer any pride or personal satisfaction. At the same time, we are destroying the possibility of any healthy love that might have arisen.
The addiction only grows, removing any authenticity and emotional identity that we should have created within ourselves.
We don’t realize that if we don’t get rid of the patches and pieces of tape that cover our wounds, we can create wounds much deeper inside ourselves, and in the person we have. in front of us.
Let’s stop giving each other excuses! Love and a relationship always begins within ourselves.
If we take this into account, we are going to have fresh and healthy times. And that will allow us to mature rather than destroy ourselves.
Stay away from passion or throw yourself into it with open arms?
No one wants to disorganize their world. Some people hate passion, because it totally disrupts the universe they created.
In fact, most people live in broken relationships, and have habits that don’t satisfy them, simply because they’re afraid to change.
These people are at the origin of the popular saying “ we know what we lose but we do not know what we gain ”. A dogma, an unshakeable vital law, a guide to maintain one’s life in mediocrity.
However, others throw themselves headlong into the unknown and into unlikely adventures, believing that it will help them solve their problems.
These people shift all responsibility for their happiness (and possible unhappiness) onto others. They are euphoric if something good happens to them, and completely depressed if something goes wrong.
What’s the right attitude? Neither of the two. You must always act with moderation and responsibility.
What you will do should allow you to have a sufficient dose of passion and joy in your daily life. Only in this way will you be able to love freely.
Images of AJCass