In our world, we are surrounded by many different people, circumstances and peculiarities that condition our emotional development.
So, there are inevitably painful situations and people for whom it is very easy to hurt others.
In a way, all of this – the good and the bad – cannot and will always exist, since no one is perfect.
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we hurt others without realizing it.
The problem is when you start to believe that in order to learn you have to suffer , when you don’t have to hurt to learn or be hurt to learn.
Pain and its positive side
A few days ago, we were just saying that learning is always a gift even if the source of learning is pain.
This suffering, at least, did not come in vain because any harvested fruit that serves us for new experiences will be positive.
We don’t want others to hurt us to learn from the suffering of days of extreme sadness.
Perhaps Shakespeare’s claim, taken out of context, is difficult to understand, but it gives the whole truth.
In cases where pain is inevitable and escapes us, it is true that we cannot act and that we have to overcome the difficult period.
However, beyond that, it’s good to remember that what happens to us goes through our minds filter and we always have the last laugh.
That is, it is good to differentiate between inevitable pain and what is optional pain: when someone hurts someone else, without logic, their behavior is neither tolerable. nor eligible.
Negative experiences help us to mature, but when we are forced to live them: in all other cases, injury will never be a good learning technique.
Leave a mark without hurting
We don’t want an additional wound, which we surely don’t deserve, and also because life gives us enough of its own: no one deserves scars that arise from artificial emotional damage.
No one should have someone by their side who is hurting them: for whoever thinks that the quickest way is to cause pain, is wrong.
It is not an easy task, but if you let yourself get carried away by anger, causing harmful events, or if you share your life with people who trigger them, it might be time to consider a change.
Almost all the teachings we can receive can be experienced in another way, far from resentment, envy and wickedness.
We cannot let others hurt us for no reason and we have all the power in our hands, because the one who does evil does not love, he wishes to do evil .
It is best to choose people who show us who they are in an honest way, succeeding in making us better than who we are, taking care of our feelings and valuing our inner ‘selves’.
That you have been hurt is no excuse to hurt others
Toxic people who harm us rather than help us are everywhere, and it’s hard to get away from them.
However, as we have said, taking the reins of one’s life is something that will help us avoid injury repeatedly.
When we have experienced situations of great pain, psychological abuse or imposition from someone, we have a series of after-effects within us that we must learn to resolve in the best possible way to prevent them from happening to us. push us to behave in a similar way.
For example, some children who felt emotionally abandoned and grew up with great family imbalance developed inappropriate learning behaviors in adulthood.
So, it is important to understand that hurting with the excuse of having been hurt does not lead to anything beneficial, neither for us nor for others.
If we want someone to listen to us and learn something that we want to pass on to them, this is not the right way.