They are only children, but they grow up and mature before age. Even though their bodies are small and they are still developing, there are little adults in them who know much more than you think or imagine. They suffer and live the experiences of adults. They have been pressured to take on responsibilities which, at their age, do not correspond to them.
There are very many parents who turn a blind eye to their children’s problems, or rather to the problems they have, and which affect their children. Their frustrations, their misfortunes, their difficulties are projected on the children who, according to the adults, do not realize anything.
Maybe you were a kid who never had to grow up too soon. Perhaps you have never felt oppressed by the complications and difficulties around you. But, for many children, this possibility does not exist. They cannot turn their heads and go through their childhood like a normal child would.
Little adults in a difficult world
Perhaps you remember times when you were scolded for behaving “like a child”. It’s ironic to put it that way, but you’ve probably heard phrases like “stop jumping”, “behave like an adult”. And in the case of little girls: “stop behaving like a boy”.
It seems that jumping and playing are not well received. Since all the little ones, we have been scolded because we do things which are nevertheless “children’s things”. Why are we being forced to grow up? Why are we being scolded for acting the way we are? Even young, we are taught that we must do better, every time. But sometimes this situation is particularly pronounced.
Relationship problems, arguing in front of them, etc., all of this marks them and has an influence on them. Personally, I remember a situation of a friend who told me that, as a child, she had to live a very tense situation between her parents, whose main character was infidelity.
She understood everything, but they treated her like “an idiot”. She had to follow the stalks, in the car trying to find out where the infidelity was, arguments in the middle of the night that woke her up and made her cry, situations of physical and psychological abuse. She even had to take on the role of mediator between her two parents.
She was barely 8 years old
She remembers perfectly a sentence that her father had said to her grandmother. A little sentence that had realized how much the adults were in error: “Leave her, she doesn’t realize anything”.
Long after this whole situation, she suffered a lot, in terms of emotional deprivation, which leads her to suffer from emotional dependence and to plunge into toxic relationships. No need to talk about the terrible lack of self-esteem and self-confidence inherited from her childhood.
Children realize it all
Children understand everything, they are not stupid, like adults who think otherwise. This is why many adults ignore them, ignore them and put them through very violent scenes. All of this has consequences for them and as parents it is our responsibility to avoid this.
Now let’s talk about a completely different situation: in poor countries, children can start working at a very young age to earn money for their families. They are only children, but they act like adults. They didn’t choose him, life pushed them to take responsibility for things that shouldn’t be in their hands.
These little adults, as they grow older, are great at listening to others and feel a bit apart in their peer groups of the same age. They are much more mature, they have grown psychologically, but not physically. The experiences have marked them and they do not feel included in a group.
Children have to be children, behave like children and we have to allow them that. They should never experience situations that might affect them in the future, especially if they can be avoided. But, it is especially our duty to eradicate this idea that children do not understand the world of adults, because they understand much more than we can imagine.
Underestimating what a child can understand and can not understand for free. Instead of looking after his well-being, we make him part of a situation which, in one way or another, will mark him for life, and negatively. His future will be influenced by what he experiences today and we have the power to take care of his present.