Irascible people are addicted to constant nervousness. Punching on the table, slamming doors, screaming, even outbursts of anger… People with this type of profile do not know how to communicate without raising their voice. They lose control, and many times you can’t contradict them. Thus, behind this difficult behavior often hides a fragile being who uses anger as a defense mechanism.
There are times in our life that all of us lose our composure. So we know what it feels like when hatred paralyzes us and when, almost knowing how, we erupt in the most untimely and least skillful way possible. What is interesting about these experiences is that they give us good lessons. They teach us how important an assertive attitude is in dealing with these complicated situations where our emotional maturity is tested.
On the other hand, there is a crucial aspect that it is important to consider: anger remains today this emotion little if not understood at all. We could say that irascible people are those presences that it is better to avoid in our daily life to preserve our balance and our health.
However, nothing is more relevant than understanding what anger is made of. Let’s make good use of psychology, and allow ourselves to understand that behind this angry child, this bitter friend and this boss who cannot handle frustration, there is someone who is unable to speak any language other than that. -the. Someone who struggles with himself and who doesn’t know what to do or where this explosive hatred and poisoned negativity is coming from.
In French, there is a word that perfectly translates these passive-aggressive behaviors in people who make anger their mode of communication; we speak of “implied”, namely what we understand between the lines, or under the words stated. What is hiding under this wolf skin which makes use of this emotional intensity so devastating? The answer couldn’t be simpler: there is another wolf, but a wounded wolf.
Let us now see some of these characteristics that could explain the occurrence of this type of dynamics in irritable people:
- Excessive anxiety: People who react with anger are usually very anxious. They are people who, from an early age, worry about nothing, who when faced with any stimulus react with intense fear and a certain preoccupation. So, and once into adulthood, that lingering worry about what is beyond their control or the unexpected translates into hatred. This emotion is nothing more than a disproportionate defense mechanism with which to react to anything and anyone.
- Anger as a response to any negative emotion: People with this personality cannot determine whether they are feeling sadness, disappointment, fear, worry, surprise, or shame. All of these emotions could be understood and translated in the same way: with anger.
- Anger is an accumulative problem: when an emotion is not channeled, understood or managed, it accumulates. What is more, irascible people have behind them a history of frustrations accumulated over decades. Thus, the most insignificant acts become triggers for all this torrent of anger contained within.
- Anger and Paranoia: This relationship is just as problematic as it is important. Irascible people are made up of anguish, misunderstood convulsed emotions and a well of hatred more than visible. All this deep architecture builds in many cases the appearance of paranoid behavior. Anything is a threat to them, they are suspicious, they think that others are there to hurt them, to ridicule them. These are very tiring situations.
Irascible people do not have a good quality of life. This is an aspect that from a clinical point of view cannot and should not be left out. Thus, as several studies reveal to us, this type of personality is more likely to suffer from heart problems, cerebrovascular accidents, respiratory problems, a weak immune system… Anger leads to anger, and moreover, establishes insurmountable distances with those whom these people love.
So, very often, irascible people apply what is called inappropriate anger. They may be angry with something or someone, yet end up projecting all of their negative energy on those who least deserve it: kids, partner, etc. It is therefore essential to provide these people with remedies and strategies so that they understand that anger is not an adequate channel of communication, but that it is assertiveness that will allow them to survive much longer. easily in any scenario.
Now let’s take a look at some simple strategies to think about, and which can be used to deal with this emotion much better:
- We need to understand what anger is and what its purpose is ⇔ It is, in essence, a response our brain emits to attack or flee from danger. It is a purely biological and physiological manifestation.
- The second step is to learn to identify the emotions themselves and understand what motivates them ⇔ What I am feeling, is it sadness? What was she motivated by? If what I’m feeling is shame, where does it come from?
- Breathing techniques: A good way to channel anger and this hatred that blocks our body and our mind is to learn to relax, to breathe, to focus on our tense muscles and our rapid heartbeat in order to calm them down. This is the only way to have clear ideas and react more adequately.
- Replace anger with assertiveness: Another goal for irascible people is to learn to relax assertively. They must replace the use of anger as a form of language with assertive communication to make it their best tool.
To conclude, we wanted to point out one last aspect to you: sometimes, the irascible person not only resorts to verbal violence, but also sometimes to physical violence, which can become recurrent. So let us not hesitate to intervene in these cases and to take measures that protect us if we are victims of the actions of this kind of people, or even measures of action if we ourselves drift on these dynamics.