To be patient is not to be weak or cowardly. Sometimes it’s much better to remain silent and calm down the nervousness than to lose it all in a moment of uncontrolled anger.
Patience is the virtue of quiet hearts, able to understand that being careful on a day of anger saves us a hundred days of sadness.
We have all experienced such moments before. In fact, sometimes we find ourselves at the epicenter of very demanding environments that test our resilience and our ability to manage our emotions.
Anger is like a trigger that goes off when we lose control and instead of relieving us, tends to generate side effects that no one wants.
Learn to be patient, to calm anger, to show understanding to realize that it does not solve anything, quite the contrary. Anger can even sometimes make you lose everything.
When we talk about the two great virtues of silence and patience, it seems that these dimensions are more related to passivity, to people who are unable to react. But this is completely wrong.
The wise silence which does us good and which is patient, allows to calm the mind to act with greater aplomb, a better discernment and with moderation.
We invite you to think about this.
Being patient, the skill of good emotional managers
When we talk about anger or nervousness, we imagine a picture of a small child with swollen cheeks about to cry out.
If the small infantile crises are important, it is necessary to know that it is essential to teach the child to manage his emotions so that he does not reproduce them in adulthood.
There are people who choose to “swallow” their nervousness. To pretend nothing happened. Who leave behind the days of loud cry in all conscience and who choose, quite simply, to hide their anger, their frustration.
But that is neither good nor healthy. It is also not wise to allow anger to flare up. When you let go of wild horses, ruled by anger, it creates situations that are as uncomfortable as they are destructive.
Good emotional managers learn early on that two of their most complex enemies to juggle are undoubtedly nervousness and anger.
They are linked to physiological changes which further intensify the negative sensation and threat. This is why to control an enemy well, the best is to know him.
Know the common enemy, anger
There are people who get angry more often than others.
These individual differences can be explained by a lower tolerance to frustration, or even to certain genetic markers.
- Anger arises in our brain due to a subtle imbalance between serotonin, dopamine and nitrous oxide. This is why some people are more prone to outbursts of anger.
- According to an interesting article by psychiatrist Richard Friedman, published in the New York Times, anger can also be the result of hidden depression.
Uncontrolled, unreasoned or badly managed nervousness can lead to frustration and unease.
When anger floods our brains because of neural chemistry, multiple physiological changes occur that increase negative emotions even more. Anger gallops uncontrollably.
Anger cannot hide nor should it trigger a temper tantrum. It must be examined closely, understood and channeled so that it does not suffocate, so that it does not injure or seek victims.
Patience, calm and assertive behavior in dealing with anger
Don’t trust someone who tells you they never get upset.
We all experience injustices, we all hear nonsense about ourselves and comments that are as unfair as they are offensive.
Before letting our nervousness ignite the fuse of the fire of our anger, it is necessary to reflect a few moments on this behavior.
- Put a name on what makes you angry. Do not stay with this feeling, with this discomfort that hurts your stomach and grips your mind. Describe in concrete words what is bothering you.
- Look for calm for a few seconds, shut yourself up in your “palace of thoughts”. It is a quiet and serene space that belongs to you alone. Visualize an idyllic place where you let go of anger and negative emotions and find yourself with “reason”. Now think about the best option for what is happening to you.
- Be assertive about the reason for your anger. Don’t swallow what hurts you because nervousness doesn’t stay under the bed, it is expressed in respectful words to make it clear what hurts, what we don’t want .
- Control, restructure and change the scenery. One of the best ways to deal with nervousness and anger is to control your breathing or even the mental processes that can stimulate negative emotion even more. Don’t blame yourself, turn off mental noise and irrational thoughts.
Sometimes something as simple as walking, taking a deep breath, and staring at a point on the horizon to rest the mind and turn off the anger button can save us from all the troubles that abound in everyday life.
It is necessary to approach the world with a calm heart, to know its limits and to know that there will be bad times, without a doubt, but that the good times are more numerous and that they are our reason for. to be.