You cannot do everything for love, since everything does not necessarily have the same value. It can be very damaging to have such a philosophy.
Often, in the name of love, we put up with unpleasant circumstances and we remain anchored in relationships where love is far from reigning.
The fear of loneliness, of the change of life or of the future leads us to maintain a relationship which does not bring us much, which adds nothing to our life but on the contrary takes things away, and which brings us more problems and bitterness than joys.
Sometimes you think it’s only fleeting and that person will eventually change, but most of the time that’s not how it turns out.
If love is absent, they say, and if you do not feel it in your body or in your soul … then the relationship is dead, and it is time to make decisions to remedy this, aside from fears. limiting.
“I don’t care if you love me very much; me, what I want is that you like me, and a little better every day ”
Love also has an end
Hyper-romanticism has given us some very hurtful and unhealthy ideas about love and the couple. We have been sold, through movies, songs or poems, that love is what gives meaning to our life, and that if this love is true, then it will last forever.
This is not only detrimental to our emotional well-being; this is also totally false.
Love does not last forever; this is normal, and scientifically proven.
Neither does it give meaning to our life, since the meaning of our life does not depend on external things, but on our interpretation of the world, on our capacity to appreciate things and to benefit from them. There is no question of putting up with everything in the name of love.
It is better and healthy to tolerate certain things in the other. As we all know, no one is perfect, that’s why the other will have to tolerate things in us, just like us, we will have to tolerate things in the other.
A problem arises when we put up with certain things that go against our identity, our values or our rights, or even quite simply when we notice that the other person does not not involve in the relationship, that he does not support us, does not take care of us.
Obviously, it’s his right to do it and to live as he sees fit, but when that happens, the relationship ends, and we can no longer speak of love.
Obviously, everyone loves in their own way. Some people are much more tender and expressive than others, but there are details that shouldn’t be overlooked.
If the other loves you, he loves you as you are; he has no interest in wanting to change you, hurt you, or manipulate you.
After thinking about all of this, you can think about the relationship you are in right now, and observe yourself from the outside.
Do you often have a smile on your face? Do you spend your days arguing and being sad? Are you more comfortable with other people than your partner? Be honest with yourself, and answer all of these questions.
So how can I make a decision?
If you draw the conclusion that love shines in its absence, that it is no longer there, but your fears prevent you from taking a new direction, it would be appropriate to think about this with a rational and practical mind as well as to take into account the following things:
- Do you like to. Don’t let anyone abuse you. No one deserves to be in a relationship where you ignore them, where you don’t take care of them, where you don’t support them, and where they are disrespected.
But if you allow it, then it will continue to happen. This is why you have to set limits, despite the fear of change, because you will only be able to achieve this if you learn to love and value yourself above all else.
- Learn to lose. Dating won’t always go smoothly, and it’s a reality that almost everyone faces at some point.
When that happens, don’t try to force things, stop investing in a relationship you know is doomed to fail. The most sensible and intelligent thing to do is to know how to lose, and to retire with dignity.
- Dramatize. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you end this relationship? You don’t need this person.
Before meeting her, you did not know that she existed, and you live quiet and happy, which is why she is not essential in your life.
The worst that can happen to you is what you are prepared to go through, since you have to face the situation calmly, knowing full well that you do not need anyone to be happy, let alone a person. specifically.
You are the only one in charge of yourself, and only you can decide whether or not to avoid falling into depression.