When we engage in a task of personal growth, we need to know that everything is a process. Failure at times is part of the process. The changes will not happen overnight. To get results, we will need to be persistent and disciplined.
Nevertheless, we hope that our loved ones will be happy with our decision and support us throughout the process. We can then feel angry and disappointed when they take advantage of any setback to minimize our efforts. Some people seem to forget that we always have the right to fail.
It is therefore essential that we realize that we ourselves must be the main driver of change. If we wait for approval, recognition and support from outside, we will probably give up before we reach the goal. We have to change by and for ourselves and become our own personal coach.
When others forget the right to fail …
You have undoubtedly found yourself several times in your life in this type of situation … For example, you tell your loved ones that you are trying to eat healthier and they point out to you, with irony, the times when it is not. is not the case. They only focus on your one-off deviations.
The same can happen when you decide to face a fear. You may be trying to deal with your driving phobia by making different short trips each day. Then one day you ask your partner to drive because you don’t feel like driving. Your loved ones then emphasize this isolated fact.
These reactions can also appear in a relationship. You may have suggested that your partner make joint efforts to improve communication. And the moment you lose your temper and fall back into old ways of communicating, your partner takes the opportunity to blame you, even if they haven’t changed.
“Weren’t you supposed to eat healthy?”, “Didn’t you say you’ve overcome the fear of driving already?”, “Wow look how you talk, couldn’t you be more understanding?” All of these statements are reproaches. They are not formulated to support us and encourage us to continue, on the contrary.
Why is this happening?
First of all, you should know that this kind of situation is frequent. These types of reactions say more about the senders than the recipients. A person with a healthy emotional balance, who is comfortable with himself and who has gone through his own personal development process would not try to hinder that of others.
On the other hand, it is important to stress that change is not always welcomed by our environment, even when it is to our advantage. And that’s because, when we change, we change the dynamics of our relationships.
If one person is no longer dependent, the other loses his position of superiority. If we decide to start communicating respectfully, we are no longer collaborating in the conflict. Therefore, if others are unwilling to change, our efforts to improve themselves may not please them.
Add value to your process
Our job is to keep in mind that we have the right to fail. If you really want to achieve inner change, you need to respect your walk and find your rhythm.
You don’t have to be perfect, let alone in a day. It is normal to rest on the road, to turn in circles, and even to back up. Growth is not linear and we are not able to do this work every day.
A fall is not a relapse, an error does not indicate the end of the path or the failure of the plan. Give value to your process, to your efforts. And remember, yes, you are trying to be better, but you still have the right to fail.