Do you feel like you can’t stop thinking about your ex? Is there really a way to do it? The truth is, there is no magic formula to achieve this. In fact, the key is to stop demanding that we “stop thinking”.
Rather, it is about respecting our rhythms while staying focused on the present and life beyond the ex-partner. We are in a new stage and we must continue to live; For this reason, it is important to go through the duel and move forward little by little.
What can I do to stop thinking about my ex?
Everyone must find their own strategies, because everyone has their own approach, and not everyone needs the same to move forward. However, we leave you 5 general ideas to start thinking about the subject:
Don’t force yourself to stop thinking about my ex
The first key idea that we give you if you have any doubts to stop thinking about your ex-partner is, precisely, that you stop trying directly. Thoughts cannot be controlled, although we can learn to let go over time, avoiding being trapped in them.
It’s like the famous pink elephant exercise. Imagine someone telling you “don’t think of a pink elephant”. Isn’t the first thing you do is think about him? Well, it’s the same thing. The more you demand not to think, the more you will think. Therefore, stick to your rhythms and understand that thinking about that person you loved for a moment is normal.
Validate your emotions
In grieving processes, such as a breakup, it is important to respect each other’s rhythms and validate the emotions felt at all times. There are a thousand reasons you keep thinking about your ex-partner . Not having overcome the rupture, a present that does not satisfy us, a future in which we do not have too many hopes, etc.
Either way, what you feel is valid, that’s fine. As with thoughts, do not force yourself to “come out” quickly from these emotions. Allow yourself to feel the desire, the nostalgia, the melancholy…, it is not uncommon for them to invade you. Thus, the more you allow yourself to feel these emotions, before they “go away”, leaving room for calm.
How to stop thinking about my ex: look at your present
In general, when we are more aware of our past (or our future), it is because our present does not satisfy us. Therefore, we encourage you to observe it, and to be able to detect what you like about it. If there is currently nothing in your present that satisfies you, believe it, seek it.
Try to turn your present into something valuable, worthy of your attention, to experience.
Look for what gives you the illusion
In the process of rupture, it is very important to reconnect with what excites us . With our interests, our hobbies, our passions… Not so much because they allow us to distract us from the anguished emotion that we feel, but because they allow us to look towards the future.
These are activities in which we feel good, which remind us that life goes on. The goal? Little by little, we improve our mood and create new illusions beyond what we have already experienced, in order to gradually stop thinking about the ex-partner.
Say goodbye to your ex (this could be done with a ritual)
Saying goodbye doesn’t necessarily mean doing it physically. If you said goodbye back then, but feel like you still have something pending, that you haven’t yet turned the page, say goodbye your way. Close the loop. How can you do it, if you don’t see it anymore or if you have removed this option?
By a farewell ritual. It doesn’t matter if weeks or months have passed since the breakup. If you need this moment, do this act of generosity and courage with yourself. The rituals make it possible to close the stages, symbolically. You can do it however you want: write a letter then tear it up, burn it, keep it …
Break their photos, keep them in a special box, put on a song you liked, etc. The idea is to perform a small symbolic action that allows you to express what you carry within yourself, to say goodbye to this important person and, above all, to let go.
Seek professional help
Psychotherapy is a very valuable tool when it comes to offering us strategies that can help us regain our well-being. Therefore, if you are feeling stuck and are not sure how to deal with your discomfort, if you need to understand what is happening to you and how you can resolve it, we encourage you to seek professional help.
Breakup: Find Out What You Need
How do I stop thinking about my ex? It is not easy to identify what can help us in this process, because each process is unique. It is therefore a question of listening to our emotions at all times, of connecting with them and of validating them.
Most importantly, don’t judge yourself if you’re still thinking about your ex. Try to understand why this is happening. Is it because your present does not satisfy you? Why do you think too much about your thoughts and memories?
Analyze your case and, based on that, start with small actions that can help you. Like looking for activities or goals that you are excited about or seeking professional help.