How Do Children With Low Self-esteem Feel?

How do children with low self-esteem feel?

Do you think that one is born with a certain type of self-esteem? Do you consider loving yourself personally to be something important on a daily basis? Can we influence our children’s self-confidence? In this article you will find the answers to all these questions.

Self-esteem is the fundamental piece of everyone’s puzzle. It is on it that we build our whole ā€œ Iā€. For this, it is important to work on it from an early age. It is therefore essential to make children aware of the importance of their degree of personal appreciation. This is the key to building stable foundations, capable of supporting them in the most critical moments instead of breaking them down.

Promote a child’s self-esteem

It is important to be careful because there are a lot of actions that we can take without realizing it little by little the self- esteem of our children instead of strengthening it. The most common of these actions are:

  • Congratulate or reward our children for actions that are beyond their control. For example, to be handsome or to be tall. This will inhibit the development of the capacities of children who will not be proud of their work or of what they do. Therefore, they will have low self-esteem.
  • Do not let our children have responsibilities. It happens when we give our children everything without them needing to strive for improvement. This is also the case when we do not teach them to be aware of their inner world and what their decisions may involve. By doing so, they will not realize the value of things when they are done well and they will not be able to take charge of their feelings and the consequences that derive from their actions.
  • Do not show affection. Unconditional love strengthens children. If they feel loved and cherished, they develop good self-esteem. They will grow up knowing that their actions can be good or bad, but they know that someone will always be there to love and protect them.
  • Prevent children from expressing themselves. When we don’t allow them to express what they’re feeling, we prevent them from actually knowing each other. Because of this, they cannot build a good personal image. Therefore, a child who cannot express himself and convey his opinions and emotions will develop low self-esteem.
promote a child's self-esteem

As we see, it is fundamental to educate consciously. For this, we start with respect and love through clear and sincere communication that will educate children with healthy self-esteem. For this, it is first important to understand what self-esteem corresponds to. Let’s dig deeper .

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is our evaluative perception of ourselves. It’s how we value ourselves. This process is forged in childhood and fluctuates during evolutionary development. Self-esteem is the act of valuing, loving and prioritizing ourselves. It is the self-esteem that we demonstrate.

Children with low self-esteem have not learned to love themselves through their concrete actions. They haven’t learned to value themselves and don’t make the effort to try again if they fail on the first attempt because they don’t know what long-term goals are. They will not learn to love others because they do not know how to love themselves personally.

Children with low self-esteem are adults who will suffer if they do not solve their problem as it will lead to discomfort, dependence on others and self-worth. Usually, they are not prepared for the world because they have not developed unconditional love for themselves. It is as if in their own eyes they are invisible.

Self-esteem allows us to develop with love and security. It helps us create a good image of ourselves that we will project in all of our relationships. It is our greatest treasure, but for that, we must take care of it and work on it. We must give it the time it deserves because a good construction and a good development of self-esteem will allow us to grow calmly.

Can children with low self-esteem improve?

As we said, self-esteem begins to build from an early age. The first words we dedicate to children influence their development. For this reason, we need to be aware of the importance of the language we use and everything we project onto children. The latter take references from the outside to gradually build what they are. The references they will have at the beginning will be those of the adults who accompany them during the first years of their life.

the entourage as a reference for growing up in a child

Is what is learned in childhood irremovable? Luckily, no. Ideally, all of us would grow up in an environment with a secure attachment. That is, with unconditional love, a capacity for exploration and a feeling of protection. But some children are not so fortunate and grow up with low self-esteem. In the future, they will therefore need a reconstruction of their own image. 

Thus, children with low self-esteem will have to face new challenges and realize that they can fail. They will have to realize that they are important, that they are more than their simple actions and that these do not define them. It is the whole that defines them as a person. They will need to find that they are valuable, that self-esteem requires patience, and sometimes they will be wrong, but they can always try again. 

As we can see, self esteem allows us to be who we are. If it is secure, it allows us to develop everything else from a solid foundation. For this reason, the process of developing true self-confidence is one of the most important processes to be carried out throughout our life.


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