Books and conferences form a complete and convoluted showcase full of formulas of happiness structured around diffuse constants. Many make the same mistake when it comes to conceiving happiness, conceptualizing it. They place him outside of us. On top of a mountain that can be reached by winding roads and steep slopes.
So, faced with this panorama, a question arises: why should there be a common idea of happiness? A definition that serves me, my neighbor and people on the other side of the planet. Happiness never ceases to be sensitive to circumstances and, therefore, to individuality. What we can perhaps talk about are complicated ways of being happy, mirages in the wilderness which, when they disappear, leave nothing but a huge void.
Let’s not look for happiness outside of us
Everything around us prompts us to seek happiness outside of ourselves. If we buy this new car, we will be happy, or if we have a partner, we will be extremely happy. The advertisement says it so well: it’s so tempting to “continue” to bite the apple. The danger is that we are talking here perhaps of momentary joy, certainly not of lasting happiness.
Happiness is more like a state, something that has to do with what’s left and not with what takes less time to dissipate than champagne bubbles. An echo that survives the emotions, which whatever happens envelops us. Maybe we are talking about an ability to put pieces of what is happening to us together, so that we learn from our mistakes and feel good.
The power of our thoughts
If happiness is a state of mind, then our thoughts are the main actors. A cast which, motivated by emotions or what happens to us, does not always interpret a scenario favorable to our interests. However, what is positive is that we can intervene in this script. So we just need to observe them. For this, it can be important to practice meditation.
Identify the large number of automatic thoughts that we have in a day which are complaints, judgments, laments, self-criticism … Being aware of this is very revealing. We will thus discover or rediscover a part of ourselves that we may have forgotten or that we may never have even noticed.
If a mistake is seen as an opportunity, if a dismissal is seen as an incentive to change jobs (which we have always wanted to do), then we are taking a big step towards that state of happiness. It is essential to encourage positive thoughts over negative thoughts.
Feeling good does not mean that there are no negative thoughts in our mind; rather it means that it will be a more difficult place for them to access. As Matthieu Ricard, considered ” the happiest man in the world “, rightly underlines it , to understand it, we can think of the sea. Although its surface is altered by wind or strong waves, it is calm. deep inside her.
Many people understand happiness as well-being, others as balance. Not as something momentary, but something lasting over time. But for this to be possible, we have to find our own definition, dress it smartly, with pockets that match our desires.
Moving away from the “truths of happiness” in which advertising is so interested can therefore open up a large space in front of us to decide what we want to install. More than buying or acquiring, it is about having and choosing wisely.