Find a quiet place and sit down. Reserve this moment for yourself. Use it to get to know your dark side. Forget the noise of ongoing tasks and “just in case”… Let your complaining and sometimes sassy voice slowly die off. Go to meet silence, this companion with the appearance so disturbing for those who do not know how to appreciate it, but so gratifying for those who are able to discover its essence. Listen to him.
You may think that it is impossible to pick up anything when the interlocutor is silence; but try it. Often it is the bridge, the path to contact with ourselves. In this case, with our interior. Do not be afraid, and above all do not run away.
There is nothing wrong with looking at yourself in the mirror, touching your skin, and brushing against the wounds that we usually make sure to overlook. Don’t look away or close your eyes to pretend nothing has happened as you feel the pain filling you when you sit down. Embrace your dark side, meet your demons. Connect with yourself.
Darkness of wounds
To face suffering is of course not a pleasant experience. The fantasies that flow through our memories can be very intimidating and sometimes too overbearing. They know perfectly well our sensitive areas, our most unstable areas and the dark paths covering the roots that deeply divide our skin.
These fantasies are the imprints of our past, the memories that connect us to the pain of the lived experience, feed it and sometimes even help to let it develop, preventing us from overcoming obstacles. If you don’t prevent them, these prints will turn into a monster that will terrify you: fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, fear of failure … They will be different disguises, different masks that will cover a false belief in which you are attached to: the inability to achieve happiness.
Do you know that injuries also have their dark side ? We see the sadness of gray, the pain of thorns and the decay of illusion. It is a dangerous area in which we can end up becoming a prisoner. Its purpose is to focus your life on suffering. It’s a subtle spider’s web that grabs you little by little.
It’s not easy to break free from the fragments of the past, especially when they cling deeply to your skin and you resort to self-deception. Pain has a thousand and one ways of expressing itself. Even when you think you are free from its grip it may be otherwise; and especially when you tend to avoid it.
The body can also be a means of being present for pain. David Alexander, professor and director of the Aberdeen Trauma Research Center says that “people who have suffered emotional injuries often translate their pain into something physical.”
For this reason, it is better not to leave aside the dark side of your injuries and their influence on your daily life. He can be so astute and insightful that he is able to change your perspective on reality. In this way, you end up being locked in a spiral of infinite suffering in your eyes.
The light that is born from your dark side
Just as your dark side can shatter your existence, it has the ability to make you grow taller. Sounds contradictory doesn’t it? But it is so. The ocean of suffering is immense, but remember that if you look the other way, you will be able to observe the mainland. The key is in balance.
Once identified and understood, it is about going beyond the painful experience. Although your heart is not filled with pain, you can value what is going on around you. Although you may sometimes think it is, the reality is not all pain. On the other hand, if you focus only on your thorns, if you do not see past your wounds, your mind will believe that it is the only thing there is.
The suffering is there, the important thing is to decide to mature and grow to the rhythm of its waves rather than choosing to drown. How to do ? Embrace your dark side, embrace your monsters and demons.
According to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, the dark side of our personality was “the archetype of the shadows”. This is the basement where our most repressed instincts, our most affiliated interests and our most compelling desires hide.
“If we wish to see the light, we must first immerse ourselves in our darkest depths.”
We all suffer at some point, what matters is to be able to recognize it, accept it and feel it kindly and without violence. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Once you have done that, observe how it is generated, its causes and its true nature. What thoughts are fueling this suffering? What acts give him power? What feelings make her vibrate again? Often times, we add fuel to our words, actions and thoughts without even realizing it.
The next step on the path to liberation is to stop creating suffering by avoiding doing whatever causes it. This step requires patience, a lot of effort, and of course, practice. You have within you a thousand and one ways of hurting yourself, they are almost all associated with your thoughts and automatisms. The key is to spot them and understand that nothing is permanent and that you have the capacity to transform your life. You are not a puppet.
It is certain that the act of analyzing our interior is not a simple process. We have to cross walls and break shells to reach the path towards the light illuminating our daily life, the path of well-being. The transformation will not be immediate, it will be gradual.
Getting past your dark side takes time, but it is the price to pay to end your suffering and make peace with it. Often, the monsters that rule us are nothing more than fears asking us for help …