Showing kindness in a sincere way is much more complicated than doing it with your own best interests above all else.
It often happens that the label of “interested person” is applied to someone suspected of acting in favor of a cause that may be of personal benefit to them.
This interest may still seem legitimate, even if it is poorly considered by a significant differentiating element.
The “tagged” person is implicitly accused of joining a cause when they see a benefit, but also of doing so only when there is one.
This type of behavior, which is generally realized late, is more cunning or selfish than kindness, solidarity or dedication.
Being nice and being smart are two different things, but in some contexts we confuse the two.
As we said, we can cover up being smart by being nice, and cheat others.
So when this happens, the other person may feel disappointment and sadness because they believed in the other person’s good faith, which was being faked.
The selfish side of someone who is kind out of self-interest
Continuing in our demonstration, we will notice that when someone helps us, we prefer to think that they are doing it because they really care about what we need.
Yet, when we discover that his gesture was motivated by a particular interest, our recognition immediately disappears, even if the net benefit produced in both cases remains the same.
The prejudice arises when we realize the real motives behind the alleged act of kindness.
If, behind the gesture and the strategies employed to obtain something, one sees a benefit for oneself, it is probably because one acts motivated by our own interest, and not by solidarity.
In this sense, the one who is kind by pure strategy has a certain selfish side, because his own person and his goals are at the center of what he does.
So much so that his possible altruism and his concern for others remain in the background, as we will see.
Altruism: in the temperament of the nice
If the face side of a coin is cunning tinged with selfishness, the face side is precisely altruism.
This is the essential nuance that defines the nice, beyond anything else. The altruistic person devotes himself to others, is interested in them and is, above all, committed and devoted.
Thus, the one who is kind and who proves it in his actions never seeks to hurt anyone and always gives up his own advantage if it can harm others.
The altruist constantly seeks the interests of others, without thinking about what he could get in return: by doing good without distinction of any kind.
Self-esteem is of course essential, but a selfless person knows not to overstep their limits.
Indeed, it is not a question of showing a lack of interest in oneself, but of understanding that kindness defines a free and voluntary act aimed at helping others.
Kindness, no trickery
We can define self-interested help as the deceptive skill to achieve any end. In other words, interest is not bad because it makes us act.
What is not correct is to use this action to manipulate and use others.
Ultimately, it should not be forgotten that by being kind in a voluntary and selfless way, we transmit values of empathy and humanity, which create a feeling of complete satisfaction in the one who produces it.