Loneliness can be destructive and cruel if we turn it into our enemy. But the society we live in does not help us perceive it otherwise. From very young, we install in our minds the idea that being alone is something negative, and which distinguishes useless from those who are not. But, if you have to deal with loneliness, what are you going to do? Are you going to stop living your life and profiting just because you don’t have anyone by your side?
The solution to all of this is within all of us, but we don’t see it because there is something very important to do: perform actions that we feel should be done with ‘other people. But most of all, it is necessary to break free from this belief that loneliness is negative when in reality it can be one of the most rewarding experiences we have ever had to live.
“What is loneliness? Loneliness is a meeting with oneself and should not be a cause for sadness, it is a moment of reflection. ”
-The little Prince-
Loneliness is a gift
In a lot of cases, we do really stupid things to avoid being alone. We start relationships, we do things for other people so as not to “lose” them when in reality we don’t want to… Ultimately, a series of actions that we take so that others do not escape our life, because being alone is not something we conceive of as possible.
Have you ever been to the movies on your own? Have you ever had dinner at your favorite restaurant without anyone? How many times have you given up on something because no one wanted to accompany you? If you think about it, you’ll find that you limit yourself a lot of times and don’t enjoy what you like just because you don’t have anyone with you to do it. This is one of the biggest nonsense you can do.
It is true that there will always be people around you who will look at you strangely, members of your family who will tell you that you are not good in your head to go to a bar or a nightclub on your own. They will urge you to listen to them and this will fuel the mistaken belief that you cannot completely eliminate in your mind. But, if you stay true to yourself, if you don’t sacrifice your enjoyment of life because you have no one by your side, you will discover a whole world of possibilities.
“The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy on your own. So the company is a matter of choice, not of necessity. ”
Of course you are afraid of rejection, of feeling off topic. But who knows if in this place suddenly you won’t meet someone? You don’t go there for that purpose, you go there to profit. But anything can happen because, even if you don’t believe it, there are people who do things on their own and take advantage of this loneliness completely ignoring what others may think.
We don’t need to depend on anyone
Our fear of loneliness is the result of an intense habit of depending on others. Depend on our family, our spouse, our friends not only to do things, but sometimes even to live. When we find ourselves with loneliness, we are free. But then arises the fear of letting go, of detaching ourselves which gave us a feeling of security.
It makes you dizzy to realize that we are on a loose rope where we are not accompanied by anyone, where we only have ourselves. Fears can never be ignored, we have no other alternative but to listen to ourselves. We had been avoiding them for a long time by immersing ourselves in crowds and superficial conversations.
But in solitude, we discover the wonderful feeling that we are responsible for our life and that the standards imposed by society do not matter. That these unwritten laws that tell us how to live aren’t that important. This is when we are alone and our hands shake because we have to take the reins of our life. And that is scary. How many times have we thought we were free when in reality we were heavily dependent on others?
“To love, you have to undertake an interior work that only solitude makes possible.”
Make no mistake about it. Loneliness hurts as we face our greatest fears. But the pain is always transient, it will never last longer than necessary. Loneliness pushes us to be ourselves, to detach ourselves from all those stupid beliefs and norms that we took to be absolute truths when they only locked us up.
It is not bad to be alone, and even less to enjoy alone. Ignore who is laughing at you because these people make you go back to the beginning, when dependence on others was oppressing you. If loneliness arises in your life, do not refuse it, do not try to accumulate empty people because they do not bring you anything. Take it in your arms, accept it and above all enjoy it. Because thanks to it, you will enrich yourself, you will discover yourself and without a doubt, you will grow.