We were taught the idea that a person can only be fulfilled when they find “their other half”. In fact, until recently, being single at a certain age was not well received. Family members, just like friends, tried to introduce someone to singles so they could get married and start a family.
Currently, this situation seems to have changed. Celibacy is increasingly seen as a lifestyle instead of being seen as a situation of unhappiness and sadness. Some people even choose to be single. The number of single people, such as divorcees, has increased significantly.
However, you have to differentiate between being single by choice and being single by force of circumstances. Thus, the one who chooses to be celibate lives it more easily because he does not find himself in conflict with himself. On the contrary, he is satisfied with his situation. In contrast, people who are unwittingly single normally experience great discomfort as well as feelings of frustration and helplessness. This can lead them to a desperate search for another person. Or else to isolate yourself completely. The point is, even if they search a lot, they can’t find anyone with whom to share their life and move on.
Therefore, is it possible to be happy while being single? Can we feel joy and happiness when we have no one by our side? It all depends on how we treat ourselves! Let’s explore this idea further.
Change point of view
Regardless of whether we’ve decided to break up or not, being single doesn’t mean trouble or unhappiness. We should not rush to find a new person either. If we feel this urgency or this overwhelming need to be with someone else, we may have some tendency to develop an emotional addiction. The best thing to do, therefore, is to take our time to learn how to deal with what is happening to us.
Being in a relationship is not compulsory. Just like being single is not a crime. We must keep this in mind, despite all the contradictory messages and ideas that the media, the cinema or our loved ones can convey to us.
Celibacy can be an opportunity to get to know ourselves better and to connect with ourselves. We can do anything we’ve always wanted to do, without the power. In fact, several studies have linked being single to a greater sense of freedom and higher levels of creativity.
Psychologist Bella DePaulo revealed evidence in 2016 that single people usually exhibit stronger feelings of self-determination. They are more likely to grow personally than those who are married. This means that celibacy also has its benefits.
Being single: between happiness and sadness
You will have very good days. Other times sadness will come over you. Some weekends you will go to party. Other times, you’ll just want to stay home to watch a movie or your favorite series. That’s life ! Being single doesn’t mean you always have to have a huge smile on your face. And you don’t have to keep your spirits down.
The majority of stereotypes that have been cultivated in our society require us to be 100% happy. We have to demonstrate that “we don’t need anyone to make us feel good”. However, this can turn into immense pressure. And this idea is unreal. It only develops self-deception.
Since we regard loneliness (and therefore celibacy) as an intimate enemy, we must find sufficient emotional balance to be happy even if we have no one by our side to share our time and our bed.
It is normal for our moods to fluctuate, but we cannot put all the blame on our celibacy. The main thing is to allow ourselves to know our emotions in order to discover the message that we want to convey to us. Especially if we recognize the urgent need to be with someone.
Being single doesn’t mean being incomplete
Social pressure can play tricks on us. We tell everyone that we are happy but when we go home we either cry or get angry because we are alone or have no children. So that’s what society expects from us.
Logical reasoning and years of mental indoctrination lead us to believe that if we are not married, we are incomplete. However, finding a person to share our life does not guarantee us to be fulfilled. We must not be mistaken. The ideal of marriage, children, dog and house is not so ideal and will not make you happy on its own. Happiness is not a feeling that springs from the outside but from ourselves.
Enjoy your celibacy
You can have a wonderful time being single. Therefore, don’t worry so much about finding someone who is meant to complement you.
Take advantage of this stage in life to do what you love, strengthen your friendships, study the subject you love, surpass yourself at work, go on vacation wherever you want, not depend on other people’s plans, have dinner without having to put up with it. political quarrels from your in-laws… There are thousands of reasons to be single and happy! The important thing is that you are your priority, your plan A.
Celibacy is the perfect time to know yourself, to shine your qualities, and to improve yourself as a person. But be careful, you are not preparing for someone else. You are preparing for yourself. If this special being is to come into your life, let him see your best version. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter. You will always be your best company.