Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable relationships, self-image, and emotions. The emotions experienced by the patient can be self-destructive.
A person who suffers from this disorder has different seizures over the course of their life. These crises are a response to a source of stress or a biological factor.
Borderline personality disorder wanes over the years, but when it comes to personality disorder, we are faced with a chronic health problem. It is therefore essential that the person with BPD and those around them learn to manage seizures.
BPD crises are experienced as an emotional tsunami that is terribly difficult to control. The impulsiveness of the affected person as well as their fear of abandonment sometimes push them to harm themselves. The person gets out of control and fails to remedy it. It is as if another identity possesses it. Moreover, once the crisis is over, feelings of shame and guilt appear, because she does not recognize herself in the behavior she had.
Obviously, the pain felt by the family is very strong. Not only because seizures can include verbal or physical assault, but also because, deep down, it is the person with BPD who suffers the most from their behavior. Usually, those around the person with BPD try by all means to ensure that they do not commit an act that they might regret.
What people around someone with borderline personality disorder can do during a seizure
If we now ask several people with borderline personality disorder what they need when they are in the middle of a crisis, it is very likely that all of them will tell us that they only need affection and understanding … In short, they need love.
When someone with BPD has a seizure, they feel terribly empty, like they’re missing an emotional piece. Because of this feeling, she goes hunting for this missing piece. Unfortunately, she is not doing it in the best way. Rather than claiming tenderness and affection by expressing her needs in words, she will express her need for love through criticism and with anger. She will experience constant dysphoria.
At first, it is likely that those close to her will give her their attention and try to understand her and reason with her … But when they notice that this approach does not bring results, it is very likely that they will end up s ‘move away from her. This confirms that feeling of abandonment so feared by patients with BPD, a feeling that will reinforce their dysphoria.
So, during a crisis, the best thing to do is to accompany the person without judging them. In the rest of this article, discover some strategies for dealing with a BPD crisis.
Some strategies for dealing with a crisis of borderline personality disorder
Most people with borderline personality disorder grow up in environments where their emotions have not been validated. We are talking about disabling environments. These environments, to which is added a certain biological predisposition, contribute to the development of the disorder.
It is not possible to control the biological part of the disorder. On the other hand, it is possible to improve disabling environments.
As we said above, during a BPD crisis, the patient needs support without judgment, the unconditional acceptance of those around him as well as a validation of his emotions. Although it is not obvious, these strategies will lessen the emotional intensity of the patient. The crises will then be of shorter duration.
Find out below what are the different strategies that can be implemented by those around them to reduce the intensity of BPD attacks.
Offer your unconditional acceptance to the person with borderline personality disorder
A person with BPD needs to feel unconditionally accepted by those around them. This means that the person next to him must accept this disorder. She must therefore accept the symptoms.
It is important to understand that seizures are nothing more than seizures related to disease. Those around the patient should understand that these seizures are part of the disorder and that they do not last forever. Thus, during a crisis, those around them should not lecture the person with BPD or be on the defensive or against them.
Give him affection
As we said above, during a BPD crisis, the person just needs love, companionship, affection and empathy. For that, we don’t need to do anything more than stand by her side without judging her.
If she insults you, it is strongly recommended that you do not get defensive. On the contrary, you have to tell him that you are there anyway.
We know it… It’s hard to keep cool when a loved one isn’t behaving well… But that’s the only way to reduce the intensity as well as the duration of the seizure. If you get angry, the only thing you can do is make it worse. And it could end badly …
Make her understand that she is not his disease
Remind her that it is not her illness. As with all illnesses, this disorder will cause symptoms to appear. The symptoms of BPD are quite severe. This does not mean that the person with BPD is a bad person and that they agree with the symptoms of their disorder.
Reminding her of this will help her feel understood and loved. His feelings of guilt will be less heavy once the crisis is under control.
Keep it safe
Sometimes a person with BPD may seek to self-harm. It is therefore essential not to leave a person with BPD alone during a seizure.
In addition, if you suspect a possible suicide attempt , make sure that no dangerous object is within reach of his hands.
Don’t overprotect her
Giving affection to a person does not mean overprotecting them. Validating your emotions and tolerating the disorder is one thing; making it dependent is another.
It is good to encourage the person with BPD to maintain a routine, to remain independent and to take responsibility. The patient’s life should continue normally.
BPD seizures are not easy to manage, neither for the patient himself nor for those around him. The emotional intensity is sometimes so strong that those around them prefer to move away from the person with BPD.
It would be good to change strategy. Rather than running away from the emotional turmoil of the person with BPD, it’s best to come to terms with the situation and hug the person. You’ll be surprised how often a hug can turn off the person’s demons and make them come back to themselves.